365 Days

Hi!

In the blink of an eye a year has passed. Another chapter of my life has been written and I’m slowly turning the page as I begin to craft the next few lines of text. This anniversary, more so than others that I’ve celebrated (either publicly or privately) seems to stick out in my mind. It’s an anniversary which celebrates so many things. Though, more than anything, it is the recognition of the passing of time. This recognition is accompanied by the inevitable and unstoppable reaction of being unable to fathom how quickly time has passed while as the same time realizing how much has been accomplished. It’s one of those eternal and universal feelings that sneaks up on you and becomes more pronounced as you get older (at least that is the case in my experience). In reality, July 5, 2007 is no different from the day before or after. Nor does it vary significantly from either the prior month or the following month. It is utterly and totally symbolic yet it still holds this unyielding grip on my thoughts and consciousness. One year. 12 months. 365 days.

It’s moments like this which tend to push me towards the philosophical and I’ve spent several moments (well, more like extended moments) trying to wrap my head around the significance of this anniversary. For me anniversaries are a tricky thing. Anniversaries remind you of where you’ve come from. They provide a concrete way of examining your life. You are able to contemplate the events that have transpired and how you responded to them. It is a time to pat yourself on the back in recognition of your achievements and truly appreciate how much one can do in such a short span of time. And then the anniversary rears its ugly head. You are pointedly reminded of how many things have gone undone. The year suddenly becomes such a short period of time and in the blink of an eye that time has passed as well as the opportunities it brought with it. The need for progress - a plan which can be used to harness and make the most of this time - becomes more pressing and you promise to take more concrete steps towards achieving your goals.

In the past few weeks I’ve experienced all of this. I’ve tried to be philosophical and discern some overarching lesson or insight gained over the past few years but I was unable to pinpoint a single lesson. There have been far too many. I’ve tried to remember if, in hindsight, I had any regrets. While there are many events and things that I have missed and while there are of course blunders and failings that I’ve had along the way, I still firmly believe that this was and is the right choice for me. One of the blessings I’ve received from this journey is an impressive collection of writing (impressive not in their message or poignancy, but in their breadth and length). Not only have I chronicled my time here through my blog entries, but I’ve also kept a journal. In the last 365 days, I have accumulated 196 single spaced pages of text as well as the countless numbers of emails and other correspondence that I have had. Reading back through them reassures me that the time dedicated to working on that part of my life was time well spent. Not only did it provide me with an outlet and a connection to home, but it also gives me a window back into these moments to look through long after I’ve left.

I also feel like I need to share a bit of information. I made this decision several months ago and have shared it with those closest to me; however, there are those at-large with whom I’d also like to share this decision with. I have extended my contract with Bunyawat and will be teaching here for another year. The way that works out is that I’ll teach until the beginning of March after which I’ll travel for a while and wrap up my Thailand Adventure and make my way home. So, tentatively I’ll be back in Colorado towards the end of April or the beginning of May. At the latest, I’ll venture home at the end of May as I’ve promised my sister that I’d be back in time for her high school graduation.

And I guess with that I’ll bring an end to this entry and July 5, 2007. Today wasn’t as eventful as last year and I haven’t just finished a marathon trip around the world but I did teach four classes today, after which I went to the market, came home and cooked dinner before sitting down at the computer to write. Both were very different days yet both are days that I cherish and I look forward to having more of both in the future.

Yours truly,

Ryan Marks

PS. While I might not be traveling around the world today, my family is. They just happen to be flying home after their stint in Asia on the same day that I left last year.